Wednesday, March 30, 2022

Moon Knight, “The Goldfish Problem”, Review!

Moon Knight rises on Disney+ and the moonlight is a little too dim to understand what is going on!  The series head writer and executive producer is Jeremy Slater who worked on the ill-fated Fantastic Four movie.  It is of course based on the comic book by Doug Moench and Don Perlin.  Later, Bill Sienkiewicz was the artist on the solo title.  Hands spread a cloth and we see his arms, one with a tatoo of the scales of justice, I think I recognized from the brown sleeves, Arthur Darrow (Ethan Hawke).  The actor was in the sci fi movie based on a graphic novel, Valerian and the City of a Thousands Planets (2017).  Then, we see his crocodile-headed cane.  This is from his Egyptian faith.  He takes a sip of water, covers the cup in the cloth, and smashes it with his cane.  He places the glass shards in his shoes!  Darrow walks with them on, the glass crunching on his feet, and walks out to the temple with the morning sun.  This all happens to a Bob Dylan song.  A strange and confusing beginning.  

Then, we get a close-up of Steven Grant (Oscar Isaac) wakening up.  Isaac has a number of genre roles, the latest is Duke Leto Atredies in Dune (2021).  He doesn’t recognize the place at first and finds that his foot is tied to a chain.  Steven undoes the velcro band and stands up.  Then, we finally get dialogue as Steven is on the phone talking to his mum while he is feeding his goldfish Gus.  He has the British accent.  A pyramid and some obelisks are in Gus’ tank.  Steven complains of a headache.  Outside, he chases the bus on London streets, then rides it to the National Art Gallery that is promoting “Ancient Egypt.” It is strange that Steven suffers from mental problems and has no problem working a regular job including missing days with no problem! London was attacked by Malekith in Thor: The Dark World (2013).  He explains about mummification to a young girl.  The museum administrator, Donna (Lucy Thackeray), has Steven take some boxes and not try to give tours.  His job is just to sell sweets.  



A woman, Dylan (Saffron Hocking), stops by to check on their dinner date.  Donna later has Steven bring the toys for her to scan as inventory.  He tries to explain in the museum’s marketing that the Ennead, the major Egyptian gods, are nine not seven.  This annoys Donna who sends him away.  Steven leaves the museum at night.  He later talks about his strange day to a gold statue street performer who of course doesn’t talk.  This show is bizarre.  Back at his flat, Steven pours sand at the foot of his bed, electical tape on the door, and then his leg restraint.  He listens to an audio recording, tosses a Rubik’s Cube, and reads up on the Ennead.  The Staying Awake recording repeats and repeats.  Steven, suddenly wakens in a grassy field, his jaw is bloody and he has to set it.  In all of this, he doesn’t go to a therapist?  He is overlooking a village nestled under some mountains.  A voice (F. Murray Abraham), later identified as the Egyptian god, Khonshu, says that he shouldn’t be there and should “surrender the body to Marc.”  I imagine this would be Marc Spector.  


The voice says that “the idiot” is in charge of the body.  Steven takes a golden scarab from his pocket.  Behind him, walks a figure in mummy wrappings, with a staff.  We don’t see his head. Steven turns to wave at a strange man in a window.  The character's nervous quips and actions are not too funny.  Another man joins him and both of them shoot machine guns at him.  Steven starts to run, two more gunmen fire pistols, and he runs to the village.  He makes his way onto the village streets and pulls up his hood to be anonymous.  A church bell tolls, the gathered crowd parts for Arthur Harrow.  They reach out to touch him and bow their heads.  He asks for a volunteer, a man steps up to be judged, Arthur places the cane’s head in his hand and it swings.  Arthur says that he will give some power from the goddess Amit, his tatoo turns into a crocodile, and judges him to be a good man.  Amit, “devourer of the dead”, is a goddess made up of crocodile, lion, and hippopotamus.  



Steven has to move closer into the crowd with gunmen around him.  An elderly woman wants to be judged and Arthur introduces himself.  The tatoo turns red.  The woman crumples after the judgement.  One gunmen says that someone killed two of their men.  Arthur declares something about Ammit and everyone kneels except Steven.  Arthur recognizes him as a mercenary.  Steven nervously says his name and that he works at a gift shop.  Arthur wants the scarab.  The voice says to Steven not to give him anything.  Steven’s fist closes on the scarab and he can’t control his fingers, “can’t control his brain.”  Villagers take him away to pull out the scarab.  A flash and he finds the villagers were killed around him.  So his black out episodes must be Marc Spector taking over.  There is blood in his hand with the scarab.  Arthur and the villagers start to move towards him.  Steven runs and takes a cupcake van in a chase?  The chase is at the 30 min. mark.  All to Wham’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.” 


One of the followers leaps onto the van, Steven smashes cupcakes into his face, a follower in the next car takes out a gun.  Steven flash blackouts and finds a pistol in his hand.  The voice warns him about a truck in front of him.  Steven is able to steer around it which spills the cargo of timber logs.  Two cars pull up with gunmen on either side.  Blackout, now Steven is driving backwards, but the van runs out of petrol.  Two more gunmen leave their cars, but are accidentally eliminated! Steven is startled awake back in his London flat.  He finds a phone that has Layla (May Calamawy) listed and she calls him again.  The hero unconsciously fighting makes me think of action movies especially martial arts films.  Jackie Chan in The Tuxedo finds he can take on opponents with the suit’s programmed abilities while apologizing.  Like Hawkeye, the action scene with Moon Knight takes place at the end, so it is a bit of a haul to get there.  The show is The Eternals of the television MCU; disconnected, long, and slightly confusing.  Moon Knight has charted its slow paced course, into a madhouse that does not resemble the original comic about a caped superhero in New York with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), and a former mercenary given new life by the Egyptian god, Khonshu!       


Three Crescent Darts out of Five!  


#MoonKnight, #TheGoldfishProblem, #OscarIsaac, #EthanHawke, #FMurrayAbraham, #MayCalamawy

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