Re:tro Re:view - Splash (1984)!

This was an early movie to be directed by Ron Howard, his first film was the comedy, Night Shift (1932).  The story is by long-time collaborator with Howard, Brian Grazer, and also producer on this movie.  The screen story is by Bruce Jay Friedman, a novelist and also screenwriter of the comedies, Stir Crazy (1980) and co-screenwriter for Doctor Detroit (1983).   Along with the comedy writing team of Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel, had worked on the classic comedy sitcom, Happy Days and created its spin off shows, before writing Night Shift.  The movie was the first to be released by the Touchstone Pictures division which had more adult themed content for Walt Disney Pictures.  It is currently streaming on Disney+, but “edited for content” text page, not side bar.  R rated movies, ok, Splash!, we have to edit it.  


The opening starts with shimmering water as we hear a cover band of Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs’ “Wooly Bully” (1964).  Then, we get a ferry boat, the New England Queen, in the afternoon of “Cape Cod, 20 Years Ago.” This would at the time of the song, 1964, going by the time of the movie.  The band is playing as we get the teenagers dancing.  The photography is in a sepia tone bringing back old photographs and memories.  On the top deck, the adults are talking, young Freddie (Jason Late), spills some coins so you can look up a woman’s dress!  He continues with his scheme, but is caught by his mother and smacked in his head by his father.  Freddie’s brother, Allen (David Kreps) looks out to the water as his parents take away his brother.  Suddenly, he jumps into the bay!  An alarm is sounded on the ferry and his mother screams out his name.  



Allen smiles underwater, Freddie takes the chance to crawl and peek under dresses, Allen is smiling at the young girl (Shayla Mackarvich) with the shell necklace.  They reach out to each other and hold hands.  Aw!  A life preserver is thrown, the girl withdraws, and a man leaps into the water to pull Allen back to the ferry.  The girl out in the water is sad as the ferry returns back to port.  Allen is stunned, but leaves.  The girl dives down and then we see her mermaid tail!  A great beginning, we see the racy humor of Freddie and the romance between Allen and the mermaid girl.  Then, we get morning in New York City from the Hudson River.  This shifts to a warehouse, Bauer Produce, Mr. McCulllough (Rance Howard, the director’s father) demands his cherries shipment from the older Allen Bauer (Tom Hanks). This is Hanks’ first movie, a year after his sitcom finished, Bosom Buddies.    


Freddie (John Candy) arrives driving his red corvette and smashes into crates!  Candy is an absolute comedy genius, but able to inject some emotion into his parts.  One of his previous’ films at this time was as the guard in National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983).  He is excited to see his brother since his letter was printed in an adult magazine.  Still, Allen has to deal with Freddie’s mess and has an angry McCullough, and he gives him a deal.  Allen and Freddie go to the office, he asks Mrs. Stimler (Dody Goodman) if there are messages.  Goodman was also the receptionist, Blanche, in the musical, Grease (1978).  Here she is pure eccentric, having a message from their father, whom Allen reminds her passed away five years ago.  Freddie asks about Mrs. Stimler and Allen tells him that she got hit the head with lightning on the weekend, he just cares about everyone.  



Freddie reveals that he made a deal with Mr. Buyrite to have their produce at all of his supermarkets.  Allen is too stressed and then gets a call from his girlfriend, Victoria, who is leaving him.  At the wedding, Freddie drops his coins again, but Allen pulls him away.  They work as ushers and Allen is asked about Victoria by the guests and admits to Freddie that he didn’t love her.  Another wedding guest, the brother of the bride, (Clint Howard) says hi, but Allen bursts out that Victoria left him, funny!  Later, Freddie has a drink at a bar and talks to his brother is drunk, collapsed on the bar.  It is some good physical comedy by Hanks.  Freddie is distracted by two women.  Allen tells some strangers that he doesn’t want to be alone.  He tells Freddie that he is going to Cape Cod.  Allen hails a taxi cab to drive to Massachusetts.  


At the beach, two clumsy assistants are unloading crates for Dr. Walter Kornbluth (Eugene Levy).  He was also in National Lampoon’s Vacation and a collegue of Candy in the sketch comedy series, SCTV.  Allen walks up to them and asks them to go the island.  Walter is suspicious that Allen in his tuxedo is there to check on his research.  One of the assistants points out that a man has a boat.  It is a tiny boat and Fat Jack rocks the boat since Allen says he can’t swim.  He has flooded the engine and jumps in to swim back for his other boat.  Walter sees through binoculars sees Allen and believes he’s being spied upon, and then goes scuba diving. Allen tries to start the motor, the boat suddenly takes off, throwing him into the water!  It circles him and then the bow smacks him in the head.  Allen sinks, his wallet floats away, but he is then pulled away!  


                                                                   Mermaid statue from Splash at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, now removed, 2010, author’s photo. 


He wakes up on the island beach, not in New England, but Gorda Cay, Bahamas which is now Castaway Cay part of the Disney Cruise.  This is of course right out of The Little Mermaid (1989) which was five years later! Allen wakes up in pain from the boat strike and a woman with blonde hair (Darryl Hannah) watches him.  Another early role for Hannah was the Replicant Pris in Blade Runner (1982).  She is naked (with Blue Lagoon-like hair modestly covering her) and walks to the beach to kiss him.  Then, she leaps into the water, when he turns away her red mermaid tail is seen.  We see her fully as a mermaid created by Robert Short, an effects artist who worked on E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982).  He has realized, as the mermaid tail and effects designer/project supervisor, the perfect mermaid.  It also the combination of Daryl Hannah’s swimming ability to sell that she is a mermaid.  


She picks up Allen’s fallen wallet and swims, the underwater photography is stunning, but she also passes Dr. Kornbluth.  He is surprised and tries to get a photograph of her, but she swims away.  The mermaid goes to a sunken galleon, really the Little Mermaid connection is strong, she pulls out a map and matches it with Allen’s i.d.  Allen has returned to the warehouse with a bandage around his head.  At the Statue of Liberty, a tour guide, Webber (Ganz), gives his regular spiel.  The naked mermaid now with legs instead of the tail pulls herself up.  The tourists surround her taking to take her picture.  A police officer takes her inside the building.  The police officers try to find out her identity and have the wallet that she carried with her.  Allen is called over as Freddie is working out the deal with Buyrite (Shecky Greene) when he goes over to take a phone call.  Greene is in the National Comedy Hall of Fame and appeared in History of the World Part I (1981).  


                                           Castaway Cay, formerly Gorda’s Cay, 2010, photo by the author.  Splash was filmed on the other side of the cay.  


Allen gets in his BMW and races over the police station.  She is pointed out, now wearing a long I Heart NY t-shirt from the Statue of Liberty, and she immediately kisses him.  Allen returns with the mysterious woman to his apartment and greets the doorman, Tim (Tony DiBenedetto).  She’s a bit awkward with the turnstile entrance, but this is part of her innocence to the chaotic, modern world.  They start kissing again in the elevator and the car stops between floors.  The next morning, in Allen’s apartment, the woman in his bathrobe checks out his large, round aquarium in the wall while he sings, “Zip-a-dee doo-dah.”  He turns on the television, but he can’t stop being with her.  Allen returns to work singing his song, just too busy to deal with work, now Freddie is in the position to run the business.  At the apartment, the mermaid woman watches a Bloomingdale commercial.  She walks out in Allen’s suit, not certain how she figured out the complicated clothes espcially the tie, but Tim helps her get a cab to Bloomingdale.  


The enigmatic woman is given several outfits by a saleswoman who uses Allen’s credit card.  She gets fascinated by the commercials in the tv department.  Allen returns to his apartment and then runs out getting her destination from Tim.  The merwoman dances aerobics and the salesman can’t quite get her to leave for closing.  Allen finds her, asks her name, and she replies with a dolphin screech that shatters the televisions!  He takes her on a walk and she is constantly distracted.  His lady is not from Cape Cod, she is from “another place.”  She later tells Allen that she is in New York for six days with the full moon.  The woman says she can’t return if she stays longer.  Allen mentions some names for and says they are at Madison Ave.  She likes that name.  Later, Madison sees a mermaid statue fountain and has it installed in Allen's apartment!  Madison's love is unconditional, but Allen is trying to discover Madison’s secret, mistake.  They have only a short time together so the couple should be spending time together, but Dr. Kornbluth is obsessed to prove she’s a mermaid!  Splash is a perfect, fantasy romance/comedy!           


Five Mermaid Statues out of Five!  


#Splash, #RonHoward, #TomHanks, #DarrylHannah, #JohnCandy, #EugeneLevy,  

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